How to Teach Your Man to be the IG Business Partner You Deserve: Our Story

Now, although this post is geared towards bloggers/content creators, I know many people outside of this whole influencer world are curious as to how this whole thing works. So in addition to spilling the tea on how we grew my account, I also wanted to share our tips on how your S/O can also become your business partner.

So before I continue, I have to give major props to my boo for growing into a role he did not ask for. Without him, none of this would have been possible. You believed in me before I even believed in myself and for that, I love you so much! YOU DA REAL MVP, BB!

Ah, so where should we begin!?

If you’re first starting out and have no idea where to start, don’t stress, because I was there…we were there! And I’d like to preface that although I’m referring to a significant other, these tips can hold true to any helpful person in your life.

Backstory:

Prior to bae and I dating, I had been blogging for half a year but only shared my posts with my inner circle of about 1K friends and family on Instagram.

Although, my blog views were low, each post fulfilled me more and more. Especially when I would receive messages that people actually resonated with my content… OMG, the best feeling in the world! I also felt creatively liberated after suppressing this side of me for so long. But, it wasn’t easy, y’all! I was simultaneously just as nervous to really open myself up and remain vulnerable on this platform, I was so used to posting random sh*t, like the fortune in my cookie that came with my Panda Express meal, not paragraphs on (for example) my journey dealing with anxiety, and the like. So with each post, I felt my walls go down, little by little.

So after half-heartedly blogging for 6 months, I finally decided to publish one of my most proudest pieces to date, “Why it is Okay to be Single”. I figured, I needed to give this blogging thing a true shot and put my entire soul into my writing. Coincidentally, this was published just a few days before my now bf, asked me on our first date.

Well, the rest was history! We were inseparable! One of the things I was attracted to the most about him, was his genuine interest in my passions and blog! He complimented my work and it was clear, he had read a few reads! In fact, he had been a food blogger for a while so we shared that common interest.

As our time together grew, so did our mini roadtrips. And since he has an eye for photography and landscape, he had asked me to pose for the camera a few times. And although, I’ve always been photogenic, I felt so awkward and uncomfortable, LOL. This was brand spankin’ new! I did not want him seeing my bad angles, ugly outtakes, etc! But weekend after weekend, he had encouraged me to shake the shyness off.

After a few months in, I remember us having this serious conversation about my intentions surrounding the blog and online presence.

Bae had hyped me up and really gave me the pep talk I needed to hear. In sum, he laid out the facts. He believed in my content, my creative talent, and potential brand but in order to see real growth, I needed to give this my allll and actually share it with the world, (not just the 1K followers on my private IG account.)

He vowed that he would do everything in his power to help me grow! BUT DAMMMNN, WHAT A CRAZY, WILD, STRESSFUL, BEAUTIFUL, JOURNEY ITS BEEN!! (We legit had no idea what we were in for!!)

The Beginning of Our IG/Content Curation Journey:

For starters, we really had no effing clue what we were doing.

On 2.05.18 we decided to try out our first curated post! This was the day, I made my profile public and one year ago to the date, I can say that day/decision was the first day of the rest of my life. I know, sounds dramatic but its so true!

In my caption, I let my followers know the shift of purpose I’d decided to make for my platform. It was my way of 1) holding myself accountable for all I had set out to do, but also 2) alerting my peeps that things would begin to look different.

Bae and I began utilizing our road trips as mini shoots. Both of us gravitate towards aesthetic photography so we just began to take shots that felt whimsical and pleasing to the eye!

At that point, what became equally important was learning/figuring out what editing software/style we liked. Bae introduced me to Adobe Lightroom and together, we learned the ins and outs of the program. I truly believe in creating a cohesive Insta feed through your editing but, at the beginning, it’ll likely take you some time to know what that exactly will look like. You can try out cool or warm toned photos, colorful, black and white, etc. Some people buy presets from other creators to slap onto their every photo or you can go our route and create your own presets; either or!

But this photographer/subject relationship is the hardest part! At first, I felt awkward telling bae that I did not like a photo. But now, let me tell y’all, she does not hold back! Haha, ugh!

In the beginning, it’ll take you some time to develop a trusting relationship with your partner/photographer. Especially if your partner does not come from an artistic background, YOU WILL HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR. DON’T ASSUME. Even though bae enjoyed taking photos before, ya girl required a whole new level of expertise! SO, YOU WILL NEED TO TEACH HIM!

If you don’t know exactly what this is: I would suggest coming up with a mood board and showing your partner. What niche are you wanting to dabble into? Fashion, Lifestyle, Beauty, Fitness, Travel, etc… the possibilities are endless and with trial and error, you will find yourself gravitating towards one over the other.

So we decided to shoot every weekend at cool locations with some cool outfits that I had in my closet. In the meantime, I began engaging with accounts I found on my explore page and tried to build relationships via DMs with other aspiring content curators/bloggers.

Almost two months later, I landed my first collab. Now, this was the dopest feeling because it made us feel like we had been doing something right.

But with this, also came the pressures to provide service/quality to brands outside of the one we were trying to build for our own.  The bar of expectations were now raised and bae felt that. (Well the relationship did! Will elaborate in a bit)

Road to 10k:

As time passed, I began connecting with soooo many like-minded people! I decided to use the same unfiltered/authentic voice that I spoke in in my blog posts but now in my work over on IG. The more I did this, the more I felt like I was resonating with others. Like actualllly making an impact in someone else’s life, no better feeling! A couple months in, (still figuring out what the heck I was doing) a girl had confided in me in that her random stumbling across my content the night before, actually saved her from hurting herself. I was taken aback. That conversation really moved me.  What good would it be to just post photos? I needed to provide real relatable substance to those who came across my content. I began to feel like this was God’s way of telling me I was heading down the right path…that this was the purpose he had intended for me to live out. That 1 heavy, genuine message, turned into at times 120+ a day. I truly felt so incredibly blessed that my words and photos actually meant something to so many souls!

BUT. All of this correspondence takes time! SOOOO MUCH TIME!

And if you’re in a relationship, this is time away from the relationship!

We struggled with finding this balance for such a long period! This, I’d say is this second hardest part about being business partners with your S/O! It’s really about finding that right balance. But in order for this to work out, your partner must be truly understanding of the hard work this whole thing takes. But in order for your partner to truly understand this world, you must introduce him to it. Show him your stats, explain the pros and cons of this industry, what your intentions are for the passion and if then your partner is willing and all in, here are…

Ways your partner can support:

• Take his role seriously: 
  • Bae and I are celebrating today as OUR 1 year IG anniversary. The brand of “Jasmin Vanessa” has two heads behind it. He takes pride in all his efforts surrounding my IG, because he has also put his heart and soul into it! AND HE’S SEEN THE BENEFITS! We’ve been blessed enough to BOTH reap the benefits of complementary stays, dinners, amazing experiences, the opportunity to connect with so many people, creating amazing works of art, and just simply sharing each little milestone together.  If your man is talking crap about your passions, thank you, next! LOL JK… But seriously, your S/O may need some convincing, and thats totally okay! I suggest sharing your vision in its full potential! Map it out, create a powerpoint, buy him dinner on shoot days, just whatever you need to get them fully on board. Because at the end of the day, this is a career, and in just one year from now, your life may very well look 100% different! I know yours, does!

• Research:
  • Understand the dynamics in turning your IG account into a business.
  • Read business articles, study other content curators, watch YouTube vids, etc.
• Master an editing software:
  • + assist with edits
  • Bae and I worked together to create our own presets (which we hope to release in the near future)
• First, learn your preferred style of photography:
  • And show him! Practice makes perfect!
• Be your photographer.
  • THIS can be the trickiest part! We allll know how bratty we can get when we’ve been photographed in an unflattering angle! And sometimes if a friend takes a shot, we’ll joke or mask our frustration. But when it comes to family members or S/O, most of us will say it as it is. I saw a meme recently that said: *Me after my man takes my photo, “Ew, I hate this photo!!” *Him to me: “What do you want me to do about it, thats how you look!!” HAHA. Some days will be easier than others but I def think this is an art form that can take years to master. I mean it makes sense considering, we as the influencer have a creative concept in mind and we are just hoping our partner can evoke that on the other side of the lens. It really is a symbiotic relationship that requires time and patience. What has helped us is positioning bae in the perspective I’d want him to shoot me in, I take the photo on my phone and he’ll study it and then refer back to cross reference while shooting me on his camera or phone.
• Be the listening ear you’ll need.
  • If your partner is out of the loop, the complaints or frustrations you have about this platform, will sound so ridiculous. But if your partner is as invested and knowledgeable in this as you are, they will not only be understanding but actually have the capacity to provide you insight, morale boosters, and hopefully constructive criticism.
• Give honest feedback:
  • I am such an indecisive person but having that reassurance or difference in opinion means everything to me!
  • I live for constructive criticism. I always want to know the areas I could improve on for the next time, so having that outsider perspective can really shape and mold your brand into something even greater.
• Assist in emailing brands:
  • Once you are at a point where you are working with brands, email correspondence can feel overwhelming. Especially when you are constantly negotiating your rates, getting campaign approvals, or just planning out your sponsored content for the month.
  • This is where you will make your money, so having your partner knowledgable in the business side of things can be a hugee help!

___

Today, one year later:

02.05.19. We are still wrapping our heads around this all! Just a little over a year ago, I knew I was called to do something more. God was tugging on my heart to ACT but I was just so scared to take that next step. I almost allowed fear of critique and the unknown to block me from one of the biggest blessings God had waiting for me. I truly believe if something is tugging at your heart and it scares TF out of you, it is not random, it is what you were called to do! I am so entirely grateful for every single soul who I’ve connected with this past year. And all I can say is THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! Y’all have pushed me to become openly vulnerable, true to my authentic self, and just overall a better freaking person and I thank y’all for giving me so so much in such a short amount of time! I wake up every single day with the intent to create aesthetically pleasing content but most importantly, content that is of substance and content that will somehow shake up and challenge my little community for the better! Love y’all and thank you bae, for everything! I hope I can give just as much to y’all, as you have given me! XOXO

How to Travel On a Budget

“To travel is to live” Legit one of my fav quotes ever! I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: the first time I’ve ever truly felt alive was when I first traveled abroad. But let’s face it, traveling is a luxury! And most people just don’t have it like that!

So in order to make traveling more feasible, I’ve decided to share/backdown what has helped me in planning/budgeting for my travels.

Since this topic was highly suggested, let’s jump right in!

The biggest question I receive is: “How much should I have saved up for a trip like this?

So it really depends on where you are going, some countries are legit so expensive (I could cry) but others can be very reasonable!

To be safe, I always say to give yourself a $2,000 limit when booking a trip abroad.

But considering I have lived and traveled throughout Europe, I will recommend ways in which you can stay under that amount (wellllll, assuming you agree to really ball on a budget).

And I say this because I know many people who only travel in luxury but in all honestly, you can still have the time of your life while watching your pennies, okurrr.

But be forewarned: these amounts are based off of MY experiences in EUROPE, no where else.

ROUNDTRIP AIRFARE ~ $600

This should be the largest lump sum of your trip. And the first matter of business in your planning. You don’t always have to fly in and out of the same country but keep in mind you will have to plan the in-between flights.

I suggest purchasing a non-stop flight as many sites will try to trick you into a good deal but one that has a gnarly layover in a random country, so be thorough with your search.

You will find a reasonably priced non-stop if you are patient. I have made the mistake of booking welllll in advance and honestly, I found much cheaper tickers for the same flight closer to the date. Airlines take advantage, y’all! So be smart with how you book! I say, a good time to book a flight is 2-3 months in advance. Oh, and ALWAYS PURCHASE INSURANCE! The extra $12 is so worth it!

Useful Sites: (Hover for links)

Google Flights

Skyscanner

CheapOair

Orbitz

Expedia

(These sites will compare prices for you, however, sometimes it is cheaper just to go through the specific airline itself)

& In my opinion: Norwegian Air  has had some of the cheapest roundtrip flights into Europe that I’ve seen.

STAY: ~ $350-$600 (Based on a 7 night stay)

Once you have solidified your roundtrip flight, the next order of business, I would suggest booking, is your stay(s).

Now, this is where your budget can significantly be affected.

I say: stray away from hotels. Your best options are either highly rated hostels or Airbnb’s. If you are looking into hotels, be well prepared to spend over $150 a night!

You can find hostels that offer private rooms for as little as $20 Euro per person if you are in a group of 2 or more and entire Airbnb’s for less than $75 a night.

Or if you are a solo traveler: you can choose to stay at a hostel as well, but in a common room and you’d also only be looking at $20-35 euro a night. This is a great way to save and meet other travelers! I’ve gone this route plenty of times with random groups of other women but also men!

But remember: this amount can vary dramatically by the city and/or accommodation method you choose. But the good thing here, is that this total amount most likely will be split amongst you and your traveling buddies.

Side note: London & Paris tend to be the more pricier of countries( for hostels at least) but we found the dreamiest Airbnb in Paris for only $70 a night! So it really depends.

FOOD: ~$300-$450

Again, this is another area which can highly affect your budget!

If you plan on eating at the hottest restaurants in town and drink your days away, this price budget may not be for you!

But it is possible if are choosy with how and where you dine.

You are traveling, so of course, #treatyoself! BUT, be strategic about it.

Breakfast: Pastries will be your best friend. I know in America, we are used to the grand All-American breakfast: eggs, bacon, toast, avocado, the works! But in Europe (and I’m sure many other regions) breakfast is not as heavy. However, I have seen Europe begin to implement our style of breakfast.

So, in order to save, buy yourself a few pastries to fill up until lunch. We are talking a couple bucks per pastry.

Lunch: Some easy pizza, panino, sandwich, etc ~$10.  I know it may be tempting to have a midday bougie lunch or sangria (which is fine) but I say wait for dinner to do this.

Dinner: This is where you can splurge! I def like to map out a few days of the trip to do this but keep in mind, splurging every night can easilyyy take you well off of your budget. A glass of wine, sure, but this doesn’t mean it HAS to be at the trendiest place in town! Don’t underestimate hole in the wall locations! I’ve found some of the YUMMIEST restaurants that were still 5 course meals but under $15 a person. Yelp will be your best friend!

Dessert: This is also where ya girl splurges! Gelato, Nutella anything, hot chocolate, crepes, etc.

Alcohol: So inserting my opinion heavily on this one but alcohol is one of the easiest ways to break your budget.

I say, limit yourself to some wine at dinner and maybe a couple nights out at the local bar, but save what you would have spent on drinks, to pay for an extra day of (exploring connecting flight, activity, etc). And I say this because you can drink all you want back in your home country, but if you’re on a budget, you can reallocate your money towards the real adventures. BUT, this does not mean, don’t drink. Something I’ve done in most of the countries I’ve visited is simply head to the local supermarket and pick up a few bottles of wine (usually $2-$4 a piece) or mini liquor bottles and enjoy them for a night in or just bring them with me for night time picnics, late night strolls, etc.

Side note: There are so many different cuisines throughout Europe so don’t feel bad if you aren’t eating that particular country’s cuisine every single night. Asian and Mediterranean cuisine are quite popular and inexpensive options as well!

CONNECTING FLIGHTS/TRAINS:  ~$300 (OPTIONAL)

One of the things I love so much about Europe, is that travel amongst cities/countries is relatively cheap. Usually you can find roundtrips for under $100.

Cheapest options:

Airline Sites:

Ryanair

Vueling

WOW Air

EasyJet

Norwegian  

Train Sites:

GoEuro

HappyRail

(Here you can search and compare for the cheapest train options for your destination country)

CITY TRANSPORTATION: ~$100

In Europe, (at least) be prepared to walk, and A LOT! BUT… there will be days when you will need a metro, tram, taxi, and/or bus ticket. Each of these will likely cost ($1.50-$3.00 a piece, excluding taxis) So if you’re looking to explore the entire city, these small amounts can and will add up! Unlike the US, one pass is only good for one stop. Many people aren’t aware of this and get fined a hefty amount. PRO TIP: VALIDATE YOUR TICKETS FOR EACH STOP! So many of us (myself included at one point) have tried to beat the system and just sneak on but I highly discourage this (we did eventually get a 100 EUR fine!) From what I was told, many cities have been stricter on their public transportation so just be safe and cover your bases. As an alternative, some cities do offer City passes that you can purchase in bulk (which would avoid you having to purchase a ticket each and every time you ride).

SHOPPING/SOUVENIRS: ~$20

I personally do not shop abroad, unless its an item, I absolutely need. I use the same logic here that I do with alcohol. I can shop back home and instead allocate that money towards my adventures. However, if you are really dying to shop, most cities usually have cheap flea markets that you can potentially pick up some finds.  If you are looking to bring home some souvenirs, I suggest something small but thoughtful: postcards,  certain packaged foods from that region, etc.

IF YOU ARE A BLOGGER: ~$50 (OPTIONAL)

You may need to allocate some funds for outfits and props. I would suggest thrifting and/or working with brands/hotels to help alleviate the costs.

IN SUM: ~ $1,500-$2,000.

SOO obviously this budget is not a one size fits all model, BUTTTT I swear, it’s what has worked for me.

I hope this break-down encourages any of y’all who view travel as impossible at the moment, as something that can actually be attainable…when done right!

Happy travels, y’all! Xo

Where to Stay in Rome: The Yellow

When you think of Rome, the first words that come to mind are culture, cuisine, architecture, and extravagance. Four years ago, I made the best decision of my life and studied abroad in the greatest city in the world! In fact, so did my boo! It was truly the first in my entire life that I felt alive! Not only did I fall in love with adventure and the richness of this place, but I also fell in love with the way this city made me feel! I was enchanted, I was left in awe, and I marveled at every single corner, dish, and attraction I encountered. Throughout my time in Rome, I stayed at several hotels whenever a family member or friend came to visit. All were… mediocre stays, (if all you want is a bed to sleep on and a hefty bill). It was not until a friend recommended, The Yellow Hostel that I even considered staying in a hostel! At first, she had talked this place up to another level! She described how this trendy stay was the hub for travelers and millennial locals alike: a hipster, party-style vibe, but one that feels like home. Rather than just a stay, The Yellow was an experience. An experience that offers a plethora of activities to acclimate you into the Roman lifestyle. So I was like, okurrr, did my TripAdvisor/Yelp research and let me tell you, it was clear how well liked The Yellow is… worldwide! I also discovered that the Yellow had won #1 hostel by TripAdvisor several years in a row AND was even considered as one of the cheapest stays in all of Europe! So you know, ya girl had to give it a shot!

We booked a private room (but you can do the traditional hostel way) and honestly, we were blown away by the experience! It was literally unforgettable! We learned for ourselves that this was a hostel with travelers ready to meet other travelers, those ready to share a few drinks and sing karaoke. But when the morning came, the people here were ready to explore the beautiful city.

Come four years later, bae and I decided to make our way back to Roma! The easiest part of the planning was deciding where to stay! I mean, after all, this is the place to be if you want a mix of R&R + good vibes!

I’ll talk a bit more about our recent experience in a bit, but let me start off by saying, LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!

Location:

The Yellow is so freaking close to everything! A literal 5-minute walk from the Termini Train Station (and if you’re planning on traveling really anywhere throughout the city and/or Europe, Termini will be your hub for transportation), 10-minute bus ride into the city center, and footsteps away from their popular “Yellow Bar” which also serves as a yummy brunch spot: this location will be of such convenience, TRUST ME!  (Your feet and wallet will thank you, hehe)

So straight from Rome’s Fiumicino Airport, bae and I bought a $10 bus ticket into Termini. From Termini, we lugged our heavy bags only a few blocks down until we reached the beautiful, Yellow. It all felt like home again!

As soon as we walked through their reception (which is opened 24 hours a day, BTW) we were welcomed with open arms and bumping indie/house hits in the background. It was just like I remembered it, youthful and friendly as heck! We were assigned our room and holy sh*t were we in for a treat!

Private Room:

Our cozy fourth floor room, had the most picturesque classic Roman balcony views!

In addition to this bomb view, our room was equipped with a private ensuite bathroom, independent air conditioning and heating, a safety deposit box, a hair dryer, Wi Fi, and most importantly, such a comfortable bed!

If that’s not enough, what I love so much about The Yellow is that they provide TONS of activities every day of the week.

Although bae and I had plans of our own, we made sure we signed up for two classes: 1) Kitchen of Mamma Cooking Class and 2) The Night Tour (but let me tell you, they provide so many more! For reference: they have an escape room within the building, (like, what?!), a bike tour, gelato classes, an entire city tour, + more!

Kitchen of Mamma:

Leading our cooking class was Marco, an eclectic local Roman who made sure our class was nothing short of hilarious.

We shared the class with two other couples, one from the UK, and the other from NYC. Little did I know, we’d become sort of besties with these people!

Marco took us on a short walk to where he says is the best open market in all of Rome. We selected some fresh ricotta and pork for our soon to be home-made cuisine!

Once we arrived back to the kitchen (oh, yeah…The Yellow has a fully equipped kitchen), Marco began the lesson with of course, some vino!

We started off by prepping our dough and were taught the important art of rolling (never by the handles, but rather the middle).

Marco then showed us the different types of pastas we could create.

Everything smelled so good already! I couldn’t wait to eat, hahaha! I then, began cutting and stuffing the noodles for our two different pastas: Spaghetti Bolognese & Pumpkin Ricotta Ravioli.

Not only were we about to feast on some authentic Italian cuisine, but also we were sharing laughs with these just recent “strangers”!  Here we had four different cultures blending onto one dinner table! I was thinking mid way, “wow this is truly a gift, something you couldn’t get outside of here!” We laughed and ate and drank some more, (welllll after the class was scheduled to be over) and honestly were soo bummed out that we all had to split ways! And I know what you may be thinking, a hostel…no thanks! But, this type of internationally blended camaraderie could not have been found in a fancy shmancy hotel or Airbnb!

The next morning, bae and I had already been anticipating our night tour scheduled that evening. We both had previously lived in Rome and had gone on plenty of tours, so in full disclosure, we questioned if we would just be retold the same ol’ information.

Well… to our pleasant surprise, we were not at all!

Night Tour:

Lucky for us, we were scheduled with Marco again, but this time as our tour guide!

The tour was scheduled for only 2 hours, but we ended up staying out for 4. He’s seriously: the man! Funny AF, extremely knowledgeable, and just a good time!

We were joined by two solo travelers from Belgium (which I was like: yasss, more friends!)

We went around the majority of the city (by foot). But honestly, this walk was the highlight of my entire trip in Rome. Rome, to me, is already the most beautiful city in the world, but at night: man, it is truly something else!

And boy, were our fears wrong; Bae and I learned so much that night about the city, it was mind blowing! Like how did we both live in this city before and not know any of this information?! Plus, Marco (above) answered with ease like every single one of my million questions.

We ended the night with wine and gelato! Seriously could not have asked for a better night out!

The next few mornings we did our laundry (on site) and cooked a few meals in the kitchen. My fave part was sharing our breakfast together on our beautiful balcony! Full disclosure, on our last night, I cried while outside on our balcony, because the thought of leaving really shook me! And I think that is what traveling does to you! There are just certain places in the world that stick with you forever.

Ah, I could literally write a novel on how much I adore The Yellow! Both of my stays here were so perfect and I’m low-key sad even typing this because I miss Rome so much already! Whether you are planning on making your way to Rome and just reading this for leisure, just know, there may not be another person out there as obsessed with Rome as I am! Trust me when I say, The Yellow has had such an impact in my love with this city!

Avoid the hassle of finding an Airbnb or spending unnecessarily at a fancy hotel!

At The Yellow you will find culture, cuisine, architecture, and extravagance! You will absolutely love it here! Whether you’re into socializing from dusk til dawn or just some much needed R+R, this place legit has it all! Do yourself a favor and book your next trip to la Città Eterna. Xoxo

Living With a Significant Other

Hey, y’all! So bae & I have officially lived together for 3 months now but really 1 year (unofficially) so thought I’d answer some questions in full disclosure (because you know ya girl don’t lie) and just simply share my experience with it all!

So with the craziness of our 9-5s, we’ve taken a bit longer than expected to decorate our apartment but thankfully, we have just finished!!!! Yass, honey and we are obsessed! We originally were going for Scandinavian Monochrome with green accents, but somehow made our way to like a boho chic vibe!! Regardless, we finally feel like this is our HOME!

So gathering the decor is the fun part, y’all! We’ve turned so many trips to Homegoods and Hobby Lobby as day-dates, grabbed some hot chocolate beforehand, and literally shared the excitement of what each new piece would bring to our space.

I think this was such bonding experience for us because we both had ideas of what we wanted for the place and worked together to blend those visions into a reality.

But, its not always this fun! HA

Sooo let’s get down to the nitty gritty, shall we?!

1) Q: Are there more arguments now that you live together? And if so, is it normal roommate-type fights? 

A: Hmm! I wouldn’t say there are more than before, but what I can say is that some have become more petty! HA.

Example: “Babe! You took the last meal prep! Now I will have to eat out for lunch tomorrow!”

Example: “Babe! You forgot to leave on the lights for Baby Troy” (our pup)

Example: “Babe! When will you be finished playing your video games?” (You can probably guess who says this :P)

TBH, I’ve had some really BAD roommates in my day so our living situation is a piece of cake in comparison to those people LOL. But I think what is key, is understanding that healthy cohabitation is literally a TEAM EFFORT. If even one person slacks off, the once cohesive environment can and will eventually turn toxic.

2) Q: When you guys do fight, how do you deal with it? Do you give space or deal with it immediately? 

A:  Well, it really depends. In many of my past experiences, living with roommates = one big, fat passive-aggressive mess! Luckily, with us, we address any tension on the spot! I hate awkwardness more than anything so we try our best to address it ASAP. There have been a couple nights when we just rather sleep than talk things through, but generally, we like to avoid going to sleep upset.

3) Q: Is moving together something your parents approved of? Also, how did you tell your parents? 

A: My mom was on-board from the beginning. Although my dad died before he had the opportunity to meet bae, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have been opposed to it. And I say this because my parents moved in before marriage as well, ha! From the beginning, bae made his intentions clear…marriage! But as he knows that whole idea scares me (for now), he proposed us moving in together as the next logical step. Initially, I shared bae’s proposal to my mom about 6 months prior to moving. I toyed with the idea for a while and I think she was pleased with how I took my time in processing it all. She was also really fond of him at that point so we had that on our side. I think a parent will only be on-guard with cohabitation, if they sense a faulty relationship from the beginning or if one person has to sacrifice their quality of life for the move.

4) Q: How does your man feel when you have to dedicate more time to your blog/Instagram vs the relationship at any given point?

A: I feel so blessed to have a partner who truly understands this hustle. He was a food blogger prior to us getting together, so he had an idea of just how much time this crazy industry demands. But, what has taken time for both of us to learn is how to balance being roommates, significant others, and business partners. There are times, when one of the three areas suffer, but we have really fine tuned it in a way that works and fulfills us. I truly believe if he did not live with me and/or share similar passions, he would not understand the ins and outs and sacrifices us bloggers make to continue to do what we love.

But when we notice one area is slacking, we sit down and discuss and come up with a game plan on how we can rebalance it all. But it is A LOT of work! Especially when your boo, is your photographer, location scouter, editor, etc. I am very lucky to have found someone who just gets it!

5) Do you still feel the same giddiness you did when you would have sleepovers? 

A: Yes! I still get those butterflies in my stomach when I’m walking in the door and vice versa. I think the nights I feel it the most are when we have plans of doing absolutely nothing but Netflix and chill! Those little moments are the moments I live for.

____

So far, we’ve had a really positive cohabitation experience. We share similar tastes which help in many areas of our living situation, but as everything in life, it is not always rainbows and sunshine. There are days where the vibe seems completely off and others where everything feels just perfect. I think the most important thing is learning from every experience/day you share together as a couple. We have strived to make each month better and better and I am blessed to have found a partner willing to give me that 100% effort. So, I’d say the two key pieces of advice I’d give to anyone on the fence of moving in with their partner is 1) make sure you’ve taken the time to really get to know each other & 2) be sure you’ve chosen a partner who shares similar interests. Because ain’t nobody got time for a toxic and distant living environment. XO 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Baring my Soul on Social Media Encouraged me to Seek Help

As we all know, social media has the ability to highlight only the good in life. Often times we look up to our fave influencers and fellow bloggers and ask, “how is their life so seemingly perfect?” Well, obviously, the answer is: it’s not; just people are selective with what they share. Even before taking social media seriously, I’ve always tended to be an oversharer with the friends who followed me; the good, the bad, and the ugly.

But this year, as I noticed my following beginning to grow, I made that same vow with my new followers. And as I remained transparent, I think I was able to build trust within the community I was striving to grow. As time went on, I noticed an increasing amount of messages re life struggles: anything from work, to relationships, social media, confidence, mental health etc. I’m talking anywhere from 15 messages to 125 a day! With every response, I try to use my own experiences as reference. But as the inquiries rolled in, the more they made me evaluate my own life.

The past two months, have felt really heavy for me. Nothing in my life was really making sense. So many random injuries, health issues, career concerns, and just what seemed like an endless laundry list of unfortunate events came at me all at once. I felt completely lost and as though everything was spiring out of my control. I did not feel optimal anymore. I was down and out, y’all! So, with everything going on, I was presented the opportunity of mindfulness classes aka a form of therapy. I was told that with the heavy demands of the 9-5, my social media, my family, and just the usual adulting responsibilities, I had not made myself a priority anymore.

And let me tell y’all, I was conflicted. One side of me, thought, “Ugh, I don’t have the energy to set aside for this.” And the other side, had a self-realization. In order for me to be truly authentic to myself and thus my followers, I had to hit the pause button and really dive deep into the chaos. I had to love myself enough by taking that time to explore all of these new emotions and most importantly, care after my mental health. For so long, I was doing and not sitting still to simply be. I felt like a machine conditioned to just produce, yet I did not take the time to check in with myself, especially among the uncertainty.

These classes have been SUCH a blessing. I was able to really tap into myself: my thoughts, my feelings, my actions, and learn little by little how to live in my breath, live in the moment, vs tackling of all the issues presented at once. I went in as a ball of anxiety, but I truly feel things have come full circle for me and I’ve found clarity in a sense. I also learned how to successfully meditate and relax my body, which is HUGE for me! And the most rewarding thing of it all is that these classes gave me courage to speak up on my truth and encourage others to get the extra TLC they need!

So in short, through connecting with so many of y’all and giving daily advice, I realized I was not practicing what I was preaching. Homegirl, was given a reality check! I was sharing my struggles, but not doing much about them! So, in order for me to be this “authentic” voice on social media, I had to be honest with myself in that ya girl, needed some extra loving! And remember, in order for you to be a voice for others, you must be that voice for yourself! There ain’t nothing wrong in asking for help or dedicating more time for yourself, okurrrt!

I leave y’all with these two quotes:

“I am allowed to be BOTH a work in progress AND help others grow at the same time”

& my fave….

“If you have time to feel like sh*t, complain and check social media, then you have time to meditate, write in your journal, create a list of goals, make a list of things you are grateful for and better yourself” !!! AMEN, hallelujerrr.  XO

Palm Springs Getaway: The O Spa

Welcome to paradise aka The O Spa. If you’re looking for the perfect weekend vacay, I’d high recommend making the trip! Whether you decide to rest your body in the warm mineral spring waters, chill in the private cabanas, or enjoy the 24-hour access spa room, you are in for a treat! Oh, and this resort is an Instagrammer’s dream! Decor to the nines with a touch of “hippie chic.” Talk about the ultimate getaway!

Bae and I were looking for a retreat of sorts, one that would take us away from hustle and bustle of the city! So we figured, “lets go to the desert!” There are so many trendy hotels in Palm Springs so we thought we’d just go ahead and book any of those! But thank goodness for my indecisiveness!! I suggested we looked at Airbnb and I am so happy we did! Bae presented me with a few private cottages and one resort a bit outside of PS. Now, although an entire cottage to ourselves sounded appealing, I just could not look passed the countless positive reviews of The O Spa. From what everyone was describing, this place was an experience rather than just a relaxing stay! But let me tell y’all: The O Spa surpassed all expectations! But just be forewarned, not even these photos do this place justice!!

The O Spa:

Located in Desert Hot Springs, just 20 mins away from Downtown Palm Springs and 30 minutes away from Joshua Tree National Park, lies one of the prettiest oasis’ I’ve ever seen!

As we walked in, Rick, the owner greeted us at the gate and gave us the initial tour of the place! I mean, we were literally in awe! Not to mention, we had the entire place to ourselves, yas!

Once we got back to our fab room, we decided to hit the pools! Now, the pools were my fave part! Natural spring water + you could adjust the temps, YASS, honey!

We spent a good chunk of our time chilling in the water with a bottle of champagne, watching the sunset.

For dinner, we were surprised with how many dining options were just a few minutes away! I mean there was Thai, Mexican, American Grill, ah!  To end our night, we went into the spa room where jazz music was conveniently playing and literally zenned out. Soon after, we dried off in one of the patio areas, around a cozy fire pit!

The entire resort looks almost prettier at night! Rick installed LED multi-colored lights throughout the pools and patio area. I would show you, but you’re just going to have to check this place out for yourself, hehe!

Anyway, the next morning we woke up at sunrise to experience more of what this place has to offer!

We seriously did not want to leave! What a dream of a place, truly! If you’re looking for a home away from home, some TLC, private lounges, and killer amenities, The O spa is your place! We seriously can NOT wait to go back! Xo

Q & A – Instagram Edition

Hi guys! Long time no talk, ha! So, I’ve compiled a list of my most asked questions as of recently from my IG and thought I’d answer em’ in an easy read blog post!

1. Q: How do you plan a curated feed?
   • A: I use the app called, “UNUM” It gives you a look of what your feed currently looks like plus a preview of what it would all look like with whatever photo you’re looking to upload next. Plus, I edit all of my photos with the same style of editing on Adobe Lightroom.
2. Q: What are you hoping to achieve with your personal brand?
   • A: For right now, I hope to create beautiful photos that tell a story. I hope to continue to inspire women to be their bad ass, fierce, confident selves, but also to come together to create the better good in society. Whether that be, helping a stranger in need, speaking up on issues that are important, and/or not being afraid to put you and your mental health first! As I grow with my audience, I hope to create presets and possibly workshops/meet-ups for aspiring bloggers.
3. Q: Do you ever get body shamed? If so, what do you do to forget the haters?
   • A: Not really in my adult life, but growing up, I would get dumped on for how my body looked! I was called, “cottage cheese legs”, “wide-load”, “corn-bred fed” throughout my time in school. It happened so frequently that I had a talk with my parents. They advised me that in this life, we are giving one body and we have the choice of loving or hating it. Through my practice with self-love, I realized these people were the problem and not my body! I felt empowered knowing this and am very comfortable in my own skin, today! However, just recently I received a comment on IG from another blogger that read, “You are the most beautiful big-skinny girl, I’ve ever seen!!” Now, part of me, was like, whoa! Although, maybe a compliment?? – it came off as icky. But at the end of the day, no matter what people intentionally or unintentionally say, you are the only person living in your body so might as well love it!
4. Q: Do you connect IRL with many creatives? If so, how do you find them?
   • A: Yes, I actually have! In fact, I’ve made really strong friendships with a number of them! About 6 months ago, I mustered up the courage to host a meet up with some babes I know solely through IG. It went so well that now we talk everyday and are meeting up again this weekend, actually! Since then, I’ve met up AND collaborated with so many others and I think the most useful tool in doing this is your DMs! I heard a podcast that said, “Your DM portal is your magic potion!” You can literally create such strong connections  every single day with complete strangers by simply reaching out and complimenting someone’s feed, recent post, outfit, whatever it may be!
5. Q: What inspires you to create?
   • A: For me, I get inspired by so so much! I’ve always been more of a visual learner and in my adult life, aesthetics really draw me in. I feel a mood whenever I see something that captures my attention. And this tingly- weird awe-inspired feeling is something I try to bring to my own content. I want to tell a story of some sorts: I want to make the seemingly ordinary look extraordinary, lighting up whatever random corner I’m shooting at. Most importantly, I don’t just want people to look at my content, I want them to FEEL something after looking away.
6.  Q: Tips on posing and shooting locations?!
   • A: I try my best to scout locations ahead of time. Whether that means: I take a mental note of a cute area I see on my way home from work, or visiting a popular tourist site, or even hashtagging my city and going through recent posts of other IG users to get location inspo. However, there are other times that we just wing it, pick a random neighborhood, and drive around and around until somewhere speaks out to us. As for posing, I try to stand tall and confident in whatever movement I make. I like to go for more action motions such as: walking, arms swaying, dress in the wind, that sort of stuff. But do whatever feels most comfortable for you! If you are a hand on the hip, head tilted a bit, cheesy smile gal- you do the damn thang, boo!
7. Q: Do you plan your outfits for the location?
   • A: Typically, yes! Like I said, I like to set a mood. So if I am doing a shoot with plants, I will go for animal print or something that is in the same palette. Also, I think you should go based off of your feed! If your tones are more warm like mine, I like to stick to neutral colored items but if its more cooler, than maybe whites, tans, black. Or I’ve seen some really colorful feeds, so likely brighter pieces will fit better. But the great thing about creating is that you can take a completely diff spin on what you’re comfortable wearing and switch it up every now and again!
8. Q: How do you stay consistent with posting content?
   • A: This is actually a very complex question for me. I used to post on IG, 4 times a week, no matter what! I was on turbo mode and made sure shooting was of top priority. It wasn’t until I sprained my ankle when the universe sent me the unfriendly reminder that it will not always work alongside your preferred schedule. I legit could not walk for almost 2.5 weeks. I was miserable! I felt as though someone was suffocating my creativity and just sitting at home made me feel as though I was not bringing value to the world. I even tried to force myself to shoot, crying in pain on the way to our location, yet smizing for the shot, but what that actually did was exacerbate the injury and leave me with a photo where I looked pained. But as time passed, I accepted what was. But I was nervous, tbh! On this platform, you’re expected to create to remain “relevant” as sad as that sounds but more so, there are so many people looking forward to your content. I decided to be transparent with my followers and made it known the content would be slowed down for a while. Personally, I know of a lot of people who share “filler photos” or throwbacks consistently but I wanted to be true to my situation and honestly listen to my faith and the universe that maybe…just maybe I needed to slow down. Now that I’m finally healed (from my ankle, HA) life has given me a bit of a window to create more content again, so I do what I can for now. I try to make shooting a priority but I realize life will get in the way sometimes and we have to take care of our health first and everything else second.

 

So if you’re still reading this, you da real MVP! I’m such a chismosa and LOVE reading Q&A’s so hopefully this brought some insight into who I am and most importantly, has been helpful in any way to other aspiring bloggers or influencers. XOxo

Personal Growth > Social Media Growth

The number one question I receive on social media is : “How do you suggest I best grow my following?” And there is not one simple answer to this. For me, It’s actually taken a lot of PERSONAL growth to even see a dent in my social media growth.

As many of y’all know, blogging and maintaining a social media presence…is basically a full-time job. We are expected to create quality content time and time again, which I LOVE! BUT! We all know the occasional struggle of when we pour our heart into a post, yet it does not do as well as we thought it would! It can be really, really, really discouraging at times. But then theres the other side of that too! When my content compels people to reach out to me, it is in those moments where I feel the most fulfilled. It’s like “whoa, I’m actually making some sort of impact here!” So all this to say, this industry can be an emotional rollercoaster!

And of course, as an individual trying to navigate my way through this space, my own  psyche is affected by it all. I’ve had to learn or am still learning how to be inspired by others’ content rather than intimated. I’ve had to learn how to be vulnerable with all of my followers, rather than just showing the surface level of who I am. I’ve had to shake off and/or learn from any negative comments or criticism I get on posts. And most importantly, I’ve had to gain the patience and understanding that this journey of becoming an “influencer” TAKES TIME! And the most important part of the journey (at least for me) is learning how to accept and grow as a person from all of the ebbs and flows that come our way. Back in February, right before I started to take this platform seriously, I was still very weary and unsure of my content. The numbers meant everything to me and I was heartbroken when they were not up to par. I would compare my humble ass beginnings to one of an influencer with millions of followers! But thank God as time has past, I’ve grown so much as a person and hence, that wisdom and maturity has poured over into my creative realm.

I think the most common sentiment I receive from people asking this question, is discouragement. “Why is my account not growing?! UGHH!” That question alone has the ability to make you second guess yourself and even your potential of making it on this platform. But what has helped me is shifting that question of “how do I grow my followers?” to “what do I need to do to grow as a person so that my content reflects that?”

As an example, I share with y’all these two photos.

The bottom was a girl who was shy and thus a bit uncomfortable with her photographer. I was self-conscious of what the people around me were thinking and you can see that in my pose!

Over time, I worked through those personal flaws. You now see (in the featured photo) a confident, DFAG gal, living her best posing life. Of course there was a line of people staring at me, but oh well! In addition, you also see the strong connection and trust, I’ve built with my photographer. My personal growth blossomed and in turn, so did my creative juices.

Sooooo, if we only shift our thinking and look inwards for growth, that growth can be multiplied in our content and reach so many more people than even imagined!

I found this quote online and thought it was pretty magical:

“Dream big, develop yourself, unleash your potential, play well with others, play to your strengths, enjoy the process, share your unique gifts with the world, and grow your greatness by testing yourself, expanding yourself, learning and improving.” – Unknown

We Moved In Together!! Life Update

Ahhhh!! It’s been such a relief to finally share the big news!!! My babe and I have finally moved into a place of our own! HALLELUJAH!

For months now we have been sitting on our dream apartment, patiently awaiting its completion. In the meantime, we both gathered decor inspo and luckily for us, we were both looking into the same design: Scandinavian Monochrome with Green Plant Accents. So our decor shopping has def been the easiest part! (Can’t wait to show y’all progress pics!)

Moving into our own place, for many reasons, means so much to us. Since the beginning, my boo has been very transparent in his intentions with me. YAS, HONEY! So for us, this would be the next obvious step! YAY! We are very grateful to have spent A LOT of time with one another this past year and have gained a great understanding of how we mesh while living together; So, this move although still major, won’t be a much of a shock to the relationship.

As many of y’all already know, this is not my first rodeo. I’ve lived with a partner before and it was toxic from the beginning. It was a situation where two very different people were forcing something to just magically work and obvi, it didn’t! But I’m grateful for that experience, because I learned so much about myself and just how complex cohabitation AND cohesiveness can be.

So this time around, there was so much thought and conversation behind this transition. Bae and I have worked really hard to make this dream a reality so we are over the moon that the time has finally come!

On move-in day, while standing in our empty living room in awe, he went down on one knee and quickly the other, of course prefacing though not a proposal, that this was his promise to start our own little life together. Ah! ❤

I seriously can’t wait to show y’all all of our home decor and life updates as times goes by! We appreciate all of the love & support we’ve received thus far as we embark on this new journey togethaaa!! XO

Owning Who You Are

So, aside from this topic being close to my heart, I’ve also gotten several requests to expand on this on the blog! So, yay!

If you know me well, you’d know that I’m really unapologetically me. And although this has gotten me in soo much trouble in my life (LOL ugh), I feel blessed to have accepted and loved myself from a really young age. I mean, after alllll, we spend more time with ourselves than we ever will spend with anyone else in life.

Owning who you are is a complex matter. There is our inner and outer self. Do our inner and outer selves align? This is a huge question. Your inner self pertains to your values, personality, thoughts, etc. Where as your outer self is what we present to the world; this can include our physical appearance as well.

To me, having a strong inner self is reflected through self-awareness, knowing what you want in this life, being mindful of your feelings, and having clarity in handling them. I think a strong sense of outer self is having the ability to act in ways that avoid putting up a facade for others- aka behaving in ways that differ from what you ultimately feel on the inside. *Aligning both inner and outer self is important because I think this is where our personal happiness meets. *

Okay, so now I’d like to dive a bit deeper. Let’s backtrack to 5th grade. This year was possibly one of the biggest turning points in my life. On this particular day, my parents gave me the two options that forever changed me. Okay, so earlier that day during “weigh-ins,” my P.E. teacher was going around the circle giving everyone their weight for reference. When he got to me, he whispered my weight into my ear, and I instantly became the laughing stock of the class. But in that moment, I wasn’t nearly as embarrassed as you would think. I was actually annoyed at my teacher for attempting to exclude me from the general group practice rather than the kids making fun of me. I mean, I knew I had newly developed hips, but I wasn’t an at-risk overweight youth. So anywayyy. When I got home I remember asking my parents, “why do I look so different than all of the other girls in school?” And my parents then presented me with two options. “Well, Jasmin, you could either embrace your body and all that you are or embrace your body and all that you are. Which one will it be?” And I’m pretty sure that conversation molded my confidence and self acceptance going forward.

As the years past, I kept that conversation close to my heart. And from that young age, I did an inventory check of myself. Who was I? At the time, I gathered that I was stubborn, loud, fiercely passionate, sassy (aka extra), independent kid. And honestly not much has changed. Anyway, I attended three different middle schools. Now I would hate to use the word “bullied” (as I always stood up for myself) but lets just say, some days were torture!! I was picked apart because of my appearance, my extra ass personality, and everything in between. There were even days that I would eat lunch alone-but honestly, that didn’t bother me much; my lonely ass would happily eat my food in peace. But the thing I noticed about these people, is that they were bothered that I wasn’t cracking. Of course there were one or two times that I felt overwhelmed, but I had to remind myself about that 5th grade conversation. If I did not accept, own, and defend who I really was, then I’d be leaving room for other’s to make that decision for me. I truly believe if you are secure in who you are, no rumor, no shitty person, no event will shake you!

And I know some people may say that being secure in your own skin is much easier said than done, but I say that is the only choice you have. You can either own who you are or own who you are! There is no other option!

Believe me when I say, I’ve gotten into a lot of sh*t because of who I am (eeek) but at the end of the day, I know that my inner and outer self (for the most part) align…and hell, I know I’m a bad ass. Don’t allow comparison, shitty people, or doubt hinder your ability to own and love who you are!

If you are struggling with self acceptance, I’d advise to re-frame the ways in which you speak to yourself. Possibly list down the pros and cons of who you are, ask yourself if your actions and presentation to others mirrors what you really feel on the inside, and remember that you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life, so might as well love (clap) thy (clap) self (clap) !! Xo

Bloggers Who Inspire Me

Heller, friends! Lately, I’ve been getting a ton of questions regarding my blog and what inspires me in terms on content, social media strategy, etc., so I thought I’d highlight the women who inspire me the most.

In my opinion, each of these creators, stand out from the rest!

Tezza Barton

@tezzamb

http://www.bytezza.com/

Tezza is by far, my go-to everythanggg inspo account! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a thousand times over, SHE IS A CREATIVE MUSE! Literally an icon in the making! Tezza & her photographer hubs, can literally make any backdrop come alive! Whether she is frolicking through European flower fields or just chillen’ in the streets of NYC, every single photo is curated with so much TLC! Her props are amaze, her outfits are amaze, and her overall gift of creating is INSANE!

 

Alyssa Bossio

@effortlyss

http://effortlyss.com/

Alyssa is truly a gem! Her cityscape shots are probably the best I’ve ever seen! She makes you want to travel to each and every place she visits! Her and her business partner, have truly inspired the wanderlust in me. She is also extremely transparent in her work and personal life, which I love. You get to know and relate to the person behind the photo, rather than just seeing her as an “influencer’.

 

Negin Mirsalehi

 

@negin_mirsalehi

http://neginmirsalehi.com/

Negin just wins at fashion! Every single outfit is effortlessly gorgeous! For years I’ve been following her and it’s so inspiring to see her rise to the top! She campaigns for brands, you can only dream of and now has successfully launched her own business/products, #GOALS! As a woman of color, I love seeing Negin break the mold. Not to mention, she travels to the most picturesque places in the world alongside her cute lil’ family!

 

Sazan Hendrix

 

@sazan

http://sazan.me/

Sazan is truly God sent! Like actually. I fell in love with her and her hubby years ago when they first decided to make a living for themselves here in LA. I mention her hubby as these two are breaths of fresh air. Sazan’s personality is by far the reason I admire her the most but her outfits are also to die for! She has the ability to make you, as the viewer, feel good. What I think separates her from a lot of influencers, is that she uses her platform to uplift and create a community of women.

 

Suzy Shattuck

@suzyshattuck

shopsuzyshattuck.com

Suzy is literally my spirit animal! She is a creative genius and lights up any corner she shoots in! Not to be dramatic, but like you want this girl as your bff! She is funny as hell and super responsive! She inspires me to push the envelop and think outside the box! She also just launched her own magical presets/workshops to help upcoming bloggers, ugh! She is for sure my daily dose of laughter and inspo!

 

Woooo! These women are continuously reminding me and millions of others that if you continue to follow your passions, they will come to life! Hope these boss babes bring you as much inspo as they do for me. If you haven’t already, do yourself a favor and give them a follow! XO

Being a Woman of Color In Social Media

We are almost there, guys; One more day til’ Friday, yaas! SoOo, for a while now I have been sitting on this post. I was a bit hesitant on speaking about this topic, but I decided that after all, this is my truth, so here I go…

Growing up in a multi-racial family, I’ve always felt in between, if that makes sense.

Although both of my parents immigrated from Central America, their parents were also mixed with European & Middle Eastern blood. So you can imagine the visual melting pot going on in my family tree. To spice things up even more, most of my family members have married outside of our race(s), so I knew nothing, but inclusivity in my household.

But in school, finding my “people” or those who I identified most with was much harder. In some cases, “I was too dark” to group with the Latina women, in others, I was not “Latina enough” or I got the common, “what even are you, Persian, Indian, what?”

Oh, and standardized tests were beyond frustrating! E.g.: “Please check one: White (non-Hispanic or Latino), Black, Latino, Asian, other.” By going with the most obvious, “Latino” I was then diluting my own genetic make up. And its funny too, because more often than not, once I explain what I’m mixed with, I’ve experienced people’s attempts of deciding who I was, for me. I’ve gotten, “well basically, you’re just Latina then!” And this makes you realize that there can be a disconnect between how you identify yourself and how you are identified as. 

Now, let’s talk about the media. As a young girl of color, I grew up somehow admiring and consuming all the fashion tips and latest trends from models/influencers who I could not relate to.

I did not see my brown skin on the front of magazines. I did not see women with my short stature or curvier body as the face of the latest mainstream campaign. I did not see me represented to the masses.

And I remember during the onset of Instagram & YouTube, I found myself following a bunch of pretty tall, blond hair, blue eyed women. And I still do, but I really had to dig deep to find other influencers of color. In addition to identifying with these individuals, it became extremely helpful to follow, lets say, make up tutorials/product reviews from  women with darker complexions vs those with fairer skin.

So this is where I began to think. I loved writing and sharing my own tips/photos with those around me. What if I started to document aka blog my experiences in hopes that others could relate? This was the question I asked myself for almost 6 months before I finally decided to just do it! I also remember asking myself, how would I be different? What would I bring to the table that is not already out there in the blogging world? Now, that answer came pretty quickly. I may not be the tall, blond hair, blue eyed woman I so admired growing up but instead I would be a representation of so many other women.

What I’ve learned so far, is that one of the biggest blessings in blogging is being able to represent yourself and finding confidence in that. It’s been amazing to see the influx of colored women in the social media game! I truly believe inclusiveness allows creators and their audience to build a commonality. Some of my proudest moments since launching my blog, are the times when I’ve received messages from other ladies, saying they feel represented through me in this blogging world. And it is in those moments, when I truly see the value I have brought to this platform. I may not be this macro influencer yet, but thus far I’ve realized, that by literally just embracing who you are, you can actually help others do the exact same thing. During the initial stages of my blog I was unsure of who my target audience would be. And this was because (as I’ve mentioned) I really didn’t know where I’d fit in, and maybe I still don’t, but I think people appreciate my authenticity and what makes me different.

So, in short (lmao, not really), I hope to encourage you (regardless of color, size, gender, sexuality, etc) to embrace your identity and all that comes with it… the trials & triumphs. For so long, I allowed society to tell me where I belonged. And I am so grateful for the trailblazing women who encouraged me to put myself out there because now I have the opportunity to be the representation, I longed for. Embrace your melanin, ladies!

I will leave you off on this quote by David Grohl, “No one is you and that is your power.”

Xo

 

 

 

How to Stay Positive During an Injury

As many of y’all know, I sprained my ankle this week 😦 The sprain is considered a grade III sprain, so ya girl has not been able to walk in like a week! The injury stemmed from bad form at the gym and it has been such a struggleee! Watching your time and weekly goals slip through your fingers can cause even the most resilient of us to spiral into frustration.

Today is day 6 in bed but its felt like an ETERNITY, FAM!! The first word that came to mind, (aside from all the curse words) was, “inconvenience.” Not only am I sidelined from the gym and my 9-5, but most importantly I am disabled from going out and shooting some new content!

On the onset of the injury, I still forced myself to go out and shoot, but joke was on me, because I woke up the next day extremely swollen and in agonizing pain! Panic & anger overcame me! As a creative, not being able to do what you identify the most with is always frustrating! As much as the physical pain hurts, the inability to create, feels even that much more painful! I had so many scheduled shoots, location ideas and collabs that needed to be executed. UGHH!

And even though, I am not even half way healed, heck, I still can’t even walk on the damn foot, I’ve come to finally accept what cards I’ve been dealt.

So as everything does happen for a reason, what is the light of the end of this tunnel?

This is the question, I had been asking myself for the past couple of days.

So here are my 5 reasons, an injury can actually be beneficial to your life and well-being.

1. Grow a new appreciation for your body 
   • I mean why did I ever complain before? Haha! In all seriousness, the human body is so magical and now more than ever, I see how ungrateful I was for all that I could do with it.  I miss my normally functioning legs, y’all!! These crutches have not been kind to me 😦
2. Mastering your perspective on shitty situations 
   • As much as I’d like to sulk around all day, I’ve tried my best to shake off all of the negative energies and focus on the progress I’ve been making!
     • Day 6 and I am now able to wiggle my toes!! YAS!
   • Instead of wondering, “what if I get worse?” I am saying positive affirmations aloud! E.g: “I will get better everyday!”
3. Plot your comeback
   • THIS! THIS! THIS! As bummed out as I was, I have planned out the exact content I will be creating! Scratch what I had in mind before, I will be pushing the boundaries on my new stuff & let me tell you, it’ll be f*cking dope!
   • Part of me sees this as a blessing because before, yes, I had a vision in mind but now I’m yearning for something even greater.
4. Trust the process
   • UGH, this can be so hard! I am one of the most impatient people I know! I hate when things don’t go as planned so trusting in the chaos is for sure easier said than done! And to be honest, all I want to do to get back out there and shoot if even for 20 mins a day! But as I learned, that’ll only bite me in the ass!
   • So in order for me to embrace what is happening, I have to trust in the unknown. Of course it’s scary, but hey, the unknown has it’s own way of working, and most of the time, for the best!
   • I know this may sound crazy, but I try to think what could have happened to me, if this injury did not occur. How about if I was shooting on a street, and a car missed the stopped sign and hit me? Or how about if I was biting off more than I could chew and had a breakdown? I know these are extreme, but maybe just maybe this injury prevented those situations from occurring!!

 

*I hope this read is helpful for anyone who is in the same predicament! My biggest take from all of this is to be kind to yourself, hard I know, but we will get through this! Xo 

 

Teeth Whitening for Sensitive Teeth

With the routine demands of the 9 to 5, I know for me, the last thing I want to do is go home to yet another routine that is not kind to me. How many of us have dedicated hours of ourselves to regimens that ultimately did not work? As consumers, we purchase products with the intent of maximizing from its benefits. But what happens when we trust in a product and/or brand that fails you? Well, I began to lose faith in such products and unfortunately had to accept the fate of my coffee stained smile. How could I trust one of the most famed whitening brands when after every use I was left with agonizing gum and tooth sensitivity. Some nights, even Aspirin AND Tylenol could not relieve me. After years of longing for a whiter smile, I was left with such disappointment and legitimate pain, I had no other option, but to end my whitening process. WHAT A WASTE!

So you could imagine how hesitant I was at first when Smile Brilliant approached with their product. My first thought was, “no, thanks! I am not going through that hectic crap again!!” But that night, I kept looking at my smile in the mirror and the more I looked at it, the more self-conscious I felt. I mean, I’d always wanted pearly whites my entire adult life, who doesn’t? But I knew my sensitivity was a setback. After hours of research on Smile Brilliant and it’s testimonials, I saw so many others had faced similar backstories prior to trying the product. But what seemed to convince me alongside all of those other individuals, is that Smile Brilliant basically caters to those with sensitive gums/teeth. COUNT ME IN!

Here is how the process worked! I answered a few questions about my dental history and within two days, I received my Smile Brilliant package in the mail! The best part was creating my very own custom molds. Once I sent my molds back to Smile Brilliant within the week, I began whitening with my custom-fitted whitening trays. To my surprise, the entire process was PAINLESS and so SIMPLE!

Oh, and you see results FAST! After the first night of use, I instantly noticed my brighter smile. I whitened just before bed along with my nightly routine. I did whiten every other night during the first few applications just in case of sensitivity, but gradually I whitened every night as the product simply did not irritate my gums or teeth. Plus the trays are so thin, you even forget they are in your mouth! So you know how I said this product is basically made for those with sensitive teeth, well it’s because Smile Brilliant includes desensitizing gel for your after whitening use. It’s as if they have this target demographic in mind vs the other brands who tailor to the general population.

In short, this product has restored my faith in teeth whitening! Not only was my experience seamless, but my smile is actually so much more brighter! If you’re skeptical of such products just as I was, I would highly recommend allowing Smile Brilliant to prove you otherwise! SAFE, EASY, AND EFFECTIVE, YAAS!

Although this post is sponsored by Smile Brilliant, all teeth whitening opinions are my own.

*GIVEAWAY CLOSED*

COUPON & GIVEAWAY DETAILS:
If you would like to win a FREE Smile Brilliant Teeth Whitening kit you can enter by clicking this link:

www.smilebrilliant.com/g/alllthatjas 

Or if you don’t win the giveaway go ahead and treat yo’ self with my coupon code: alllthatjas15 for 15% off storewide!

*[The giveaway is for a $149 Smile Brilliant credit. It is open for 2 weeks and open to USA, UK, Australia and Canadian residents! You must enter your email to be entered!]*

Xo, y’all!

Tooth Whitening Gel
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Panko Crusted Chicken Bowls

Happy Friday!! So as ya’ll may know, I am a creature of habit. I can eat the sameee meals for lunch and dinner for two weeks straight without getting bored. Fortunately, this week, I saw a recipe on Sivan Ayla’s blog that caught my appetite; Panko Crusted Chicken Bowls. Now, not only did the recipe look easy to follow but I also had most of the ingredients in my fridge (with some improvising).

What you’ll need:

I did not have regular chicken breasts or the standard Dijon mustard. So, my version of ingredients are as followed.

• 4 Chile Lime Chicken Burgers (Trader Joe’s)
• Panko Breadcrumbs
• Whole Grain Dijon Mustard
• Arugula
• Brown Rice
• 1 Lemon
• Herbs
• 1/4 Grape Seed Oil
• Fresh Parmesan

 

Directions:

1. Thaw chicken patties. Preheat oven to 400º. Drizzle oil onto baking dish.
2. Cook your rice simultaneously.
3. Coat chicken with Dijon mustard then panko crumbs. Transfer over to baking dish.
4. Bake chicken for 15 mins (for extra crunchy chicken strips) on each side.
5. Combine 1/4 grapeseed oil, squeezed lemon juice, and herbs, mix dressing all together.
6. Put out two bowls, create a bed of rice, then add a handful of arugula. Chop your cooked patties into strips and lay on top of arugula. Throw in some Parmesan cheese and layer on your dressing!

 

And Voilà!

If you’re into meal prepping, this is great for the work week! Warm up your chicken and rice, throw in some arugula, cheese, and dressing! So simple, so healthy, and legit sooo yummy! We’ve also paired the bowl with pita chips and hummus, and let me tell you…it is one hell of a mouthgasm!! Happy eating, y’all.