How to Tell if He’s Really That Into you

It usually starts out something like this: *Screenshots convo* and attaches it to the group thread along with this question, “sooo this means, he’s into me, right?” Hoping for validation… us girls, love to analyze. 

A while back I wrote a piece on why it is okay to be single. I shared my transition into singlehood and openly discussed how that decision facilitated self-love. The purpose of the piece was to encourage any person who was in an unfulfilling situation, to embrace the idea of being alone.

I truly believe once you free yourself from the wrong kind of people, you will simultaneously be creating room for the good kind. Ironically, SOON after that piece was written, I began seeing a special someone.

Can you imagine, having made plans one week ahead with a girl who literally posts such a piece just days before your first date?

Today, I can honestly say, the past number of months have felt like a dream! Never did I think that I’d 1) be in a relationship at this point and 2) that that relationship would be the best relationship I have ever known.

From the get-go, he laid his intentions with me out of the table. I was not left questioning or guessing what he felt towards me. I did not experience that limbo, I had usually felt with every situation I was previously involved in.

Dating will show you many things but especially the great lengths someone will go when they are interested in you and of course the contrary. Navigating through this time can be tough! The question narrows down to: Who is a waste of time and who is an investment? And although I am an advocate of singlehood, I also want to express how it is okay to date and give your time and energy to a person, BUT only if he is showing you the listed behaviors below!

Maybe you’re enjoying his company, but his lack of effort or consistency, is concerning.

Maybe you’re opening up to the idea of being with him, but you’re worried about getting your heart broken, so you need the signs or reassurance that this has serious potential.

Or maybe you just don’t know what to call the current situation you are in, and would like to know once and for all: Are you casually dating or exclusive?

I can truly say this was the most seamless and genuine dating experience I’ve ever had. This being the case, I will list the main signs that a guy gives, when he is serious about you. 

 

1. He will tell you.
   • Simple. And I don’t mean subtly, either. He will be clear and direct. Somewhere along the lines of: “Hey, these are my intentions with you…” xyz.
2. He will take the initiative to make plans with you IN ADVANCE. 
   • And I don’t mean Netflix and Chill or “what do you want to do tonight?” We deserve much better than this! I’m talking about days, or even weeks out! Oh, and none of this “lets meet there,” crap. If he offers to pick you up, do that! Let him treat you like the lady you are!
3. He will give you attention & lots of it!
   • You won’t have to worry about sending those double texts, or not hearing back from him for hours on end. He will continue to add to the conversation. Why? Because he enjoys talking with you. And for the times he’s tied-up, he will communicate that with you!
4. He will surprise you. 
   • Whether it be with a date night, your favorite candy, a visit to your work, etc…he will go out of his way to put a smile on your face.
5. He will be mindful.
   • He will be delicate with how he talks with you. He will be self-aware of his tone, jokes, and attitude.
6. He will stimulate you…
   • And not just sexually! I’m talking about stimulating your mind and soul. Sharing ideas, jokes, dreams, aspirations, etc. Basically he will share his most intimate thoughts, beyond the surface level.

*Whew! Now, although this list is not all inclusive and arguably subjective, my hopes are to help steer women into the right direction. If he is not showing you any of these signs, I’d say you can’t afford it. Our energies should be on strict budgets! If it is not serving you at the highest potential, you don’t have that time to waste. All this to say, dating can be all too complicated, but if it is a genuine match, it won’t be. It will feel easy and develop organically!

Xo!